By Dr. Shana Wise
People in the bible who may have experienced daddy issues may have been Ishmael with his father Abraham sending him away. Jacob’s 10 sons weren’t favored by him. Tamar, whose father-in-law Judah put her away after the Lord killed his two sons (her husbands) because they were evil. Johnathan and Michael, were King Saul’s children, for he was a man that was tormented. There were many more in the bible whose earthly parents miss the mark. The good news about these stories is that God's purpose for all of them was still fulfilled and it didn’t stop his love towards them even though their earthly fathers fell short.
For the past couple of months at Wise Choice Ministries our theme has been God’s Love.
We have been studying scriptures concerning God’s love towards us.
Yet as I have been meditating on the scriptures, one thought that came to me was that we as believers still haven’t fully embraced the love of God, because of our past. Early childhood and our experiences growing up help to mold us and we become the adults that we are today. Some of us had a great childhood and others of us experienced dysfunction within our families which led to uncertainties, insecurities, and turmoil within ourselves.
Since we have accepted Jesus Christ as our Lord and Savior for many of us, He has healed us from a lot of our past traumatic experiences. However, others of us have been healed, but not made whole yet.
I have realized that our natural fathers in our early childhood have had the most effect on the shaping of our lives. Some people have grown up with their father in the house while others did not. Some had a good relationship with their father while others didn’t even know their fathers. The reason that I bring up the significance of the fathers in our lives is that God has ordained man to be the head of the household. The head of the household sets the tone for everybody who resides in the house. If the father is out of line with God, it affects everyone underneath (connected) him. Even more so, if the father is totally absent, it leaves the burden on the mother to raise the child alone, and it leaves some kids having negative feelings about themselves and/or their identity.
I have found that some of the hardest people to win to Christ are the ones that have had issues with their natural fathers. I say this because I have seen how unbelievers have narrowed God down to a man and not Holy.
They have viewed their past hurts from other people which first begins with their parents, and have concluded that," if God was so good, why did he let this happen to me"? For the ones who never had a father present in their lives, it has left them with feelings of insecurity anger, heart, loneliness, and identity issues. Many of these people have made poor decisions in their lives, especially when it comes to relationships and the way they relate to other people.
Proverbs 22;6 talks about how parents should train up a child in the way that they should go in the Lord. However, if the parents, especially the father, do not have a relationship with God or worship him for themselves, how can they train/teach a child in the way of the Lord?
When we did a study on the book of Genesis, we saw how Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob patterned the worship of God within their households. They demonstrated to their children how to worship, honor, and love God. Their children were able to pass this down throughout the generations. Doing this sets the foundation for children to develop a relationship with God for themselves, and once they do this, it is easier for them to receive God’s love.
Satan’s aim, since the beginning, was to destroy the family unit and more specifically target the head of the home which is the father/man.
Just like in a human body if the head is displaced or not functioning properly the body cannot function effectively.
Another one of Satan‘s tactics is to keep us ignorant of the Father’s love toward us. He does not want us to know who God is to us and our identity and him. He likes to target us in our childhood. He will sow seeds of discord within us through the people that are the closest to us. In doing this, it brings distractions to prevent us from seeing God and his love.
Yet praise God for Jesus Christ, who has broken the power of the enemy over our lives! For we know that God‘s love towards us was demonstrated through his son's death, burial, and resurrection.
God is our heavenly father. He wants us to understand that he did not make a mistake in choosing who our father and mother would be. He knew beforehand their shortcomings and faults. He knew that many of us would have to experience dysfunction, hurt, pain, and disappointment, which are all byproducts of sin. He even knows about our daddy and mommy issues.
He knows the things within us that still have not been made whole yet. He even knows the things that we struggle with in our inner being that nobody else knows about. Yet what is most important to God at this moment is that we shift our focus from all those things that have happened to us in the past and that we currently struggle with now and focus on his love towards us.
There is nothing that his love cannot conquer!
When we shift the focus from my daddy issues (mommy), our negative feelings about ourselves, and even our current situation, and circumstance and focus totally on God’s love, things will begin to change in our lives. How we view ourselves our past, and even God himself will change.
I can personally testify how God’s love has impacted my vision concerning my past my present and my future.
My biological father had issues. He was tormented and felt all his life that he was unworthy of God’s love. These feelings led him to make poor choices in his life.
The choices and decisions that he made in his life, had a detrimental effect on those connected to him, especially me and my siblings. Each of us experienced hurt and pain, individually, that affected us into our adulthood.
Insecurity, low self-esteem, low self-worth, identity issues, and anger were just a few things that my siblings and I had to deal with due to my father’s choices. These things came to distort our view of our Heavenly Father and His love.
I can testify that once I receive Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior, and start growing in His Word, he started to heal and deliver me from all those things competing with his love. I have totally forgiven my father for his past mistakes, and love him even more so today, even though he is dead and gone.
I can admit that I do still have internal struggles that I deal with, but they do not have more of a hold over me than God. Before my daddy issues hindered me and kept me stagnant but now, I can move forward because I know that God truly loves me.
God’s love continues to keep coming after me day after day, and because of this, I know without a shadow of a doubt that his thoughts towards me are good and not evil and that he has a plan a future, and a hope for me.
My prayer is for me personally to continue to seek the love of God. I know that as I continue to grow in his love, I will be able to demonstrate it to others more effectively.
My prayer for the ones who are lost, who are still being affected by daddy and mommy issues, and the ones, who are ignorant of God’s love, my prayer is that they experience it sooner than later. I pray that I can teach and preach the gospel more effectively of God’s love.
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About the Author
Dr. Shana Wise is an ordained Pastor that founded and oversees Wise Choice Ministries with her husband Deacon Ron Wise. She is also the CEO and founder of The Well Christian Women’s Network. Dr. Wise is the author of Women’s Devotionals Acts of Intercession and Chief Women Arise, The Impact of Your Election, and the Basic Ministry Training Manual (all available on Amazon). She received a Doctor of Divinity degree in 2019 from St. Thomas Christian University. Her passion is to teach and preach the gospel of Jesus Christ, equip others to apply the Word to their lives and demonstrate it through the power of the Holy Spirit. She is a televangelist that appears on social media outlets. Shana is married and has four children.
For speaking engagements email: email@example.com.
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Acts of Intercession
The Impact of Your Election
Basic Ministry Training Manual
Chief Women Arise
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